I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize