yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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