so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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