the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize