He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
the liver wants what the liver wants
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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