Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
