And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
