I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
me + whiskey = a bad person
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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