You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
