thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
