Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
