maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
