Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
