ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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