oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
