I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
