who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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