wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
