You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize