My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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