Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize