so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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