She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize