He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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