Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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