I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I am available for nakedness
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
