okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
