the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize