and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
