brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize