and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
