let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
