We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
