Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
