she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize