What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Found your dick twin last night
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
