Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
