I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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