Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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