let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Boobs speak an international language.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
