i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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