If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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