My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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