Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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