He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
