She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
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