Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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