Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
