I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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