I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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