Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
