I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
