ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
