Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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