I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
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