I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
