Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize