To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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