What did we do last night that was yellow?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
