no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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