its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
