Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
