Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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