doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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