so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
