Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
