She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
