btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
